How to get out of your own head


Do you want to get out of your own head?

That’s what several of my Costa Rica Week of Rivers and Yoga participants shared as something they want to work on while we’re here this week. They talked about the desire to get out of their own way when it comes to their roll, gaining confidence and paddling water they know they have the skill to paddle. ‘If I could just get out of my head!’

One of the best ways to get out of your own head is to get into conversation with others. You may have experienced this a number of times on the water already. You’re scouting a rapid, unsure about what to do next, and then you talk through it with a trusted peer. From that conversation you gain insights that help you decide to run or walk.

Luckily for the folks who are here paddling with me in Costa Rica, they’re already on the path to getting out of their own head because they’ve chosen to put themselves into a situation where they’re sharing, listening and learning with and from others for 6 full days.

Getting into conversation with others doesn’t mean that you stop listening to, or trusting in yourself. It means that you get a different perspective that can open up a new possibility and plan of action that you hadn’t thought of, or didn’t believe you could do before.

Inviting different perspectives allows you to make decisions from a place of greater freedom.

Help getting out of your rut

Your brain has developed grooves of repetitive thought patterns over the course of your life. Those thought patterns have been helpful to you which is why you started thinking them in the first place. However, as your goals change and your skills change, those same thought patterns that, at one time were helpful, are now holding you back.

Luckily, neuroscience is teaching us that our brains can change. You can train yourself to think new thoughts and ‘get out of your own head,’ but it’s really difficult to do that if you don’t engage the help of someone else, be that a trusted community, reading books, listening podcasts, or hiring a coach.

That’s because your old thought patterns are so automatic that they have become a blind spot for you, and you can’t see your own blind spots.

Repetition is key

A conversation with someone can help you remember something you’ve heard in the past and forgot, or finally understand a concept you’ve been hearing over and over for years.

Just this week I had a call with my coach who reminded me of a strategy I’ve literally heard her tell me repeatedly over the last 3 years of working with her, but I didn’t get it until now. At first I felt really dumb and frustrated with myself, and she reminded me that is why I have a coach in the first place. It may take me time to get it, but that’s better than never getting it because I’m just swirling around in my head and turning to comfortable yet not helpful patterns over and over.

One of my coaching clients this week realized that she hadn’t unpacked as much as she thought she had from her move, becoming aware of how much resistance she had about settling in. That resistance was causing her to be ungrounded, not have a clear space for her evening relaxation which was negatively impacting her sleep (and therefore her life). After our conversation, she texted me excited that she had unpacked, cleared her space and felt excited about getting back to restful sleep. Without that conversation she would still be stuck in her head.

Another client has a big presentation coming up, and found herself blocked in her creativity. Together we got clear on the goals of her presentation and workshopped ideas. After our call she sent me a message that read: “Our coaching call helped me push past the resistance phase and it started flowing!”

Consistent action over time

One-off conversations can be helpful, but the most benefit comes from consistent conversations over time. It’s take courage to share, ask for a listening ear and invest in community and coaching. Consider that your resistance to having conversations is part of being stuck in your own head! Challenging yourself to take different action will make a difference. Doing the same things and making the same choices over and over give you the same results. If you want different results, get out of your own head by trying something new.

Are you ready to have a conversation to get out of your own head? Did you know that I offer 3 month, 6 month and 12 month one-on-one coaching? Email me and let’s chat about how coaching can help you. Click here to get started.