Everything. Everything is wrong.
Do you ever feel this way?
In fact, as I write this I’m having a moment of wondering why I do what I do. Does it really matter? Is it making a difference for people?
Lingering in the background of my mind there are thoughts that something’s wrong. Thoughts that it could be better, or I could do more, or something is going to go wrong.
I became aware of this background noise during a professional/personal development seminar when the leader asked us to practice saying ‘nothing is wrong,’ even when it is.
Say what?! At first this was very confusing.
It feels wrong to say ‘nothing is wrong’ when I’ve gathered plenty of evidence that something IS wrong!
AND… it also… started to change my thought pattern. It helped me to see that I was gathering evidence that something was wrong, when there was also evidence that nothing was wrong.
Saying nothing is wrong opened my mind, just a little bit, to see the situation in a different light.
Because the deal is, we can gather evidence to support whatever habitual pattern, feeling, attachment, mood and judgement we have about ourselves and our lives.
Especially when the brain has deemed that habitual pattern safe, even if it’s actually hurting us.
As Brene Brown writes in Braving the Wilderness: “Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal.”
What if we make our goal to look for evidence that nothing is wrong?
What if we ask the question, what is the opportunity in this less-than-ideal, or even downright terrible situation?
I’m not suggesting that we resist difficult situations, condone unethical behavior or burry our heads in the sand.
What I’m suggesting is much harder than that. Completely and fully accept what is right now, AND ask what evidence of opportunity is being presented to me?
The opportunity could be for self-awareness, growth, learning, deep feeling, new connections, deeper connections, a new path or an opportunity to help and inspire others.
One example from whitewater kayaking is taking a swim. I’ve had so many clients gather evidence that they’re crappy kayakers because they swim out of their kayaks. Instead, I ask them to fully accept the swim (even scary swims), not label it good or bad, and learn something. There’s a huge opportunity to learn and gain skills through ‘failure.’
Same thing with stand up paddleboarding when my clients don’t feel confident standing up, or in yoga when students gather evidence that they’re not flexible enough to practice.
Stop gathering negative evidence that keeps you from following your passion, trying new things and contributing to others.
That last sentence was meant as much for me as it was for you the reader! Nothing’s wrong because life is full of opportunity. If we’re brave enough to see it.