Recently, I’ve found myself navigating a place I talk about often—but this time, in a whole new way: the Discomfort Zone.
Usually, I speak about emotional or mental discomfort, but this time? It’s physical. Big time. And it’s pushed me into what honestly feels like a mini identity crisis.
A Body I’ve Trusted… Until Now
I’ve always taken pride in the resilience of my body. Over the years, I’ve invested in yoga, massage, chiropractic care, and physical therapy to keep myself feeling strong and capable—especially as a whitewater paddler.
At 51, I’ve had only one major injury, but otherwise, I’ve felt really fortunate. Sure, there’s been a little back discomfort over the past year, but I was managing it. I even started strength training this year and felt amazing—until a couple of months ago, when things took a sharp turn.
Last week, I found myself in excruciating sciatic pain. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t get in my kayak. Literally, my body wouldn’t let me.
Experiencing Pain, Gaining Empathy
Before this, I’d never truly understood chronic pain. But after just a few days of relentless discomfort, I found myself grumpy, unfocused, and unable to do the simplest things—like bending down to pet a neighbor’s dog I adore.
This experience cracked something open in me. My empathy has grown, especially for those who live with pain daily. It’s made me more aware of how quick we can be to judge what we don’t see or understand.
Women’s Paddle Fest—and a Hard Decision
The timing of this flare-up was especially tough. It happened just days before Women’s
Paddle Fest, an event I lead and love with my whole heart. We had over 100 incredible women—ages teens to 70s—gather together to paddle, connect, and honor the legacy of our dear friend Shannon Christy.
And yet, I couldn’t paddle.
Saturday, I tried. I really did. But I couldn’t even get my left leg into the boat. That hit me hard. I had to let go. Let go of my role as the on-water leader. Let go of what I thought I should be doing.
Instead, I climbed into a raft (thank you, Cindy, Eloise, and Mia), stood on shore, and cheered everyone on. I held the vibe, took videos, and witnessed the community step up beautifully.
Letting Go and Letting Others Lead
Sunday, I stayed off the water completely. But you know what? The amazing volunteers and Mind Body Paddle Community members rose to the occasion.
Was it hard for me to step back? Yes.
Did I have to face my own control tendencies and identity around leadership? Also yes.
But it was incredibly powerful to see the tone I’ve set over years live on through others. The vibe was there. The connection was real. And it didn’t require me to be at the center of it all.
AND… I had a blast hanging with Shawanna and Eloise at Nantahala Falls cheering folks on and taking videos of everyone’s awesome runs!
Healing and Shifting Focus
Since then, I’ve been doing my best to shift my attention from the pain to what I want to feel. It’s not easy. I have strong body awareness, which means I notice everything—especially when something feels off.
But I’ve been reminding myself to look up. To notice the blue sky and the sunshine. To practice gratitude—even in discomfort. There’s always something to be grateful for, even in the most difficult times.
It’s also an opportunity to slow down and rest, and I’m grateful to my clients this past week for being so understanding for the need to reschedule to later in the summer.
My Biggest Lesson
I’ve found myself pondering – why did I even spend so much time on all of the self-care if it
didn’t stop the mild disc degeneration that’s causing the sciatica? Like, what’s the point?
What I realize now though is that my healing is being made easier, and hopefully faster, BECAUSE I’ve been practicing yoga, have all the props, have a pull up bar that I can hang from (and have been training at the gym so I’m strong enough to hang), have the bolsters that help elevate my leg and allow me to sit on my knees comfortably, have the standing desk, already have a team of chiropractor, PT and massage therapist that I’ve been working with for years….
I also know how to cook a low-inflammation diet based in Ayurveda, and have the ingredients already in my kitchen…
I’ve curated my environment over years so that it’s the most supportive it can be for me in this super challenging time, and that is making a HUGE difference. My progress has been good, and I’m so grateful.
Don’t wait until something is wrong to start healthy habits – start now so they’re set up to support you when things get really tough.
I’d love to hear from you! Have you experienced sciatic pain and/or mild disc degeneration that you’ve healed from? What made the difference for you? Email me and tell me about it!
