There’s Nothing Wrong with You


Are you struggling, feeling like you can’t do the right thing – not even sure what the right thing is?

I can’t tell you the amount of hours I’ve wasted in my life making myself wrong about my choices.

In fact, yesterday was one of those days!

Andrew and I rented a cute Airbnb at the beach for a mini SUP surf trip. I was stoked to get back in the surf and spend a self-contained mini vacay with my hubs and pup.

Day 1 was great. We had decent surf, the breeze was mellow, and it was easy to suit up and walk from our purple beach cabin to the waves. Everything was awesome!

The next morning I felt low energy, but my stoke for the waves carried me through, and I had a breakthrough with my carving and turning. Loving life 🙂

Then my period decided to show up 5 days early. 🙁

I woke up feeling low energy, bloated and just wanting to rest.  The temp had dropped about 10 degrees, the wind was howling and the seas were angry. As I’m writing this I’m thinking to myself – of course it was a good day to not go out and surf – duh!

BUT instead, I made myself and everything wrong.

Andrew still wanted to go out because his stoke always seems to be high and he’s a super athlete. It’s not the first time I’ve made myself wrong for not being more like him.

I decided that I needed to try to go out in the crappy conditions because Andrew was going out, and I didn’t want to be less than.

After struggling to pull on my very tight wetsuit, and carrying my board 4 blocks to the beach while feeling low energy and bloated, I took one look at the churning ocean and decided no way. I left Andrew who was still stoked to paddle out, turned around and went back to our little beach cabin.

The whole way back I was making myself wrong for wasting time, for not having checked the surf before suiting up and walking all the way there, for not being as hardcore as Andrew. Not to mention being super frustrated at my body.

I had a task I needed to complete for work so I tried to focus my attention on that. I felt super uninspired. What I really wanted was to allow myself to chill, but I couldn’t do it. So, instead,  I sat there, staring at my computer making myself miserable for my choices, and for everything that I couldn’t control.

Is this really what I want for myself right now?

The answer was no. So finally, I surrendered to what was so. No more resisting for the rest of the day. We went out, walked Ceiba, practiced my new hobby of skateboarding (very slowly), ordered pizza and tiramisu for dinner, and went to see the Covid-safe drive through Holiday light show at the county park.

I enjoyed every moment and didn’t make myself wrong for any of it – not for being a newbie at skateboarding, for eating cheese and desert, for not doing my work. In fact, I felt so much better after doing those fun things that I ended up feeling inspired to get my work task done and it felt easy. Imagine that.

Instead of tamping out my spark for life with make wrongs and resistance, I surrendered and chose differently.

Here’s what I learned:

  1. There’s nothing wrong with me or with you. There are only choices and outcomes.
  2. If you don’t like the outcome of your choices, you have the power to choose differently at any given moment. You may not get to choose what is happening, but you can certainly choose how you respond to what’s happening.
  3. Making yourself and others wrong about your past choice, or their past decisions wastes your time, sucks your energy and stamps out your spark for life.
  4. When you become aware of your suffering. Stop. Reset. Focus on what you can and want to do right now. What will bring you joy? What will re-ignite your spark for life? Choose that.

If you’re in the US, may you experience gratitude, nourishment and love this Thanksgiving without resisting what’s so.

Transform your body, empower your mind (to make powerful choices) and fuel your adventure in 2021. I’ve put together an 8 week group coaching program called Re-ignite Your Spark 2021. It starts Jan. 4th. Click here to learn more and sign up!