Has anyone told you that you don’t belong?
It’s a shitty feeling, especially when it comes from someone who doesn’t know you at all, has no relationship with you or your history, and who hasn’t earned your trust.
This happened to me when I was SUP surfing in Costa Rica last week, and here’s how I handled it.
While I was in the line-up SUP surfing, a local surf instructor I had never seen before or interacted with, paddled up to me and said: “SUPs aren’t allowed here.”
To which I answered: “Thanks for for your opinion.”
Then he said: “It’s for safety, because you don’t look like you’re in control on that thing.”
I answered again with: “Thanks for your opinion.”
See video below of me ‘not looking in control.’
Even though I was with friends who were super supportive and told me to forget about him, the random surf instructor did start to get into my head and affect my experience.
I started missing waves, feeling paranoid, and if felt like my joy had been sucked away.
Stop taking on other people’s S%*t
Then I remembered that I don’t have to take on his shit. His dislike for me being in the line-up is on him, not me.
My task was to focus on my friends, catching waves and improving my skills while being aware of the folks around me.
When I got clear on what was and wasn’t mine to take on, I proceeded to catch waves again and have a great time.
The key is to focus on your tasks, and what you can control.
Gratitude for Jerks
In fact, I’m actually grateful for that interaction because as deflating as it was in the moment, it also gave me an opportunity to stand in my power, walk my talk when it comes to setting boundaries, and it gave me a fantastic example to use in my video lesson for week #2 of Mental Agility Mastery 8 Week Course.
This past week was all about how to set boundaries, and an important part of setting boundaries is discerning between what’s yours and what’s not yours to take on. Set those river banks to direct the flow of your attention, focus and energy on what you can control.
So the next time someone tries to make you feel like you don’t belong, or tries to diminish your skills, choose to not take their shit one. Focus on your tasks and your joy. You got this!
If this has happened to you, I’d love to hear how you handled it. Email me and tell me about it!
