Why Are You So You Angry?!


I felt so angry! I had asked him to get my favorite chocolate cake at the local market. When he came back, he said he couldn’t find it and brought me back a chocolate bar instead.

The heat was rising in my face because I knew he hadn’t actually bothered to ask the clerk if they had the cakes. I had seen them there earlier that day. He admitted that he didn’t ask and exclaimed: “Why are you so angry?!”

The answer had nothing to do with chocolate cake. Which, by the way, is my trusted strategy for pacifying my anger.

I was angry because I hate packing. I love to travel and adventure, but I hate the process of getting things ready, finishing up work and actually fitting my stuff into manageable bags. Especially when I’m going on an adventure that focuses on kayaking, SUPing, mtn biking or skiing (which is always).

Adventuring is awesome, AND challenging. It wouldn’t be called an adventure if there weren’t a challenge involved.

If I remembered how much I hate packing on a daily basis I may choose to just stay home and never leave.

Luckily I forget how much I hate packing and distract myself by remembering the fun parts of adventuring.

When I landed in Salt Lake City I was still a little grumpy, but happy to meet up with my friend Cindy for a few days of van life in the Tetons before heading over to Salmon, ID.

Our goal was to drive 5 hours to Jackson, WY, camp, hike in the Tetons the next day, and then drive another 5 hours to Salmon, ID to camp. We left the airport in SLC at 1 p.m. so it was kind of a tight timeline! Why do I keep doing this to myself?

It would be so much easier to set limits to my adventures and only stick to plans that are reasonable!

When we pulled off the road to Lunch Counter wave access on the Snake River, I remembered. As I lookeddown the path to the majestic, clean, powerful water rushing by, I remembered. My stress response dropped by several notches and I felt alive again.

I half walked and half ran down the path to the edge of the river. Breathing deeply and taking in the power and energy of the place. I breathed deep, and felt the grumpiness completely leave my body.

That one moment was worth all of the stress of packing and traveling.

We chose a campground a few miles up the road by the river. The first thing I did when we got the van settled was to walk down to the river and walk in. It was so cold, so refreshing and so cleansing.

After fully submerging my body in the river I felt alive!

Because, as the saying goes “Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.”

I want to live fully so…

I guess I’ll find myself grumpy again sometime in the future demanding chocolate cake 🙂 My hubby is so patient and awesome.

Until then I’ll be living on the Main Salmon River for the next week with a group of courageous, like-minded women who have gone through their own stress and challenges to get here. There’s lots of unreasonable living to be done and I’m grateful!