Yes, it’s OK to say No


Do you feel overcommitted, overwhelmed and resentful because you have very little time for yourself?

Are you also aware, deep down, that you could change that by setting…. boundaries?!

For many women, including a lot of my coaching clients, setting boundaries is hard. Saying no feels difficult and laden with guilt.

Let’s consider the story of Leila, a high achieving corporate sales woman who feels guilty about blocking off time in her calendar for… lunch.

Together we’re working on improving diet, routine, exercise and sleep. She’s creating positive change for herself and she’s feeling really good. Until… work gets in the way and the guilt resurfaces.

Her wake-up call came after a conversation with a colleague who told her that he always schedules time in his week to do things with his kids,  to work on home projects that need to get done or other stuff that’s important to him.

She realized that even though her company encourages employees to take care of themselves, she feels guilty scheduling time for herself, even for lunch. Meanwhile, her male colleagues think nothing of it. Of course they take time for the things that are important to them!

Here’s the truth: No one is going to take care of  your health or schedule self-care time in your calendar except for you!

Leila decided to get courageous and schedule time in her calendar for herself, and be proud of it! It wasn’t an easy change to make, but she did it, and she’s reaping the benefits of feeling better and performing better. It’s really a win-win for everyone.

She’s not alone. Several of my high performing corporate clients grapple with the same experience. So many women feel guilty for taking time for themselves, or feeling that they always need to say yes.

If you feel that way too, I hear you! We’ve been socialized as women to be nice and not disappoint people by saying no.

Here’s the thing, saying no to something opens the door for you to say yes to something else that’s important to you. Considering the fact that you only have one life, and only you get to live that one life, isn’t it best to disappoint others rather than yourself?

For you river lovers reading this remember that the river wouldn’t exist without banks. Those banks are boundaries that direct the beautiful and powerful flow of the water.

Ask yourself: How are you directing your flow?

Where is your flow of energy going? Toward things that are important to you, or toward other people or things that you’re not really committed to because you’re too fearful to set boundaries?

Here’s what I’d like to say to you:
  1. You get to decide what’s important to you.
  2. You don’t have to be nice.
  3. And yes, it’s OK to say no.

Try it out. I guarantee you’ll survive, and it’s very probable you’ll start to thrive.

You got this! If you want support in finding your courage to set boundaries for your health and wellbeing, I offer one-on-one heath coaching that helps you take it on. Click here to learn more.